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The Looney Tunes Show Fan Mail: Episode 9
Opening Daffy: (in a bad imitation of Count Dracula) Hello, hello, hello, it is I, your host, Daffy Duck! (laughs evilly) Bugs: Actually, the correct term is 'co-host', since I'm a host too. Daffy: (in normal voice) Whatever. Now start asking questions, people!! (in Dracula voice) Or I vill drrrink your vlood! Mwahaha. Question #1 Bugs: So here's a question asked by Doctor Bugs: "Road Runner, what were your first ENGLISH words?" Road Runner: Meep meep! Bugs: Uh, no, he meant English words. Road Runner: (sounding annoyed) Meep meep! Daffy: C'mon, road runner, say something besides 'meep'! Road Runner: (in a deep, somewhat scary voice) Meep. Meep. Daffy: Never mind... Question #2 Daffy: Here's one from some guy named 'Colonel Brony', a.k.a. DisneyCartoonKing557: "Bugs, why are you so obsessed with doctors?" Bugs: Well, they're intelligent, they're helpful, and they encourage you to eat carrots. Surely someone who makes you eat carrots can't be evil, right? (nudges Daffy) Daffy: Yep. But don't call me Shirley. Question #3 Porky: D-D-DisneyCartoonKing557 a-asked "To anyone: How much wood would a woodchuck chuck if a woodchuck could chuck wood?" G-g-g-gosh, I w-went a lot of tr-trouble saying that. Bugs: That's easy, Doc. A real no-brainer. A woodchuck would chuck so much wood he wouldn't know how much wood he chucked. Daffy: A woodchuck would chuck.. ch-chuck.. could chuck woodchuck wood... (groans) Stupid tongue twisters!! Question #4 Daffy: Mrjoshbumstead asked: "Hey Bugs! Do you withat Homer Simpson was your father? If not, then why?" Bugs: I am going to assume 'withat' is a typo of 'want'. If so, then no, I don't want him to be my father. I'm a rabbit. He's a human being. How can he be my dad? Besides, he eats donuts and beer all the time, and smells like a sewer. Homer Simpson: No, Bugs... I am your father. Bugs: NO!!!!! Bart Simpson: No, you're MY father, unfortunately for me. C'mon, Dad, you must be drunk again. (leads Homer out of the room) Daffy: Okay.. what was that all about? Question #5 Bugs: Colonel Brony asked: "Michigan, why do you only sing in front of The Construction-Worker?" Michigan J. Frog: (in a singsong voice) To teach him a lesson. I knew from the start he was going to use me for money the moment he saw me singing and dancing. Question #6 Bugs: Professor Duck asked: "Porky, Why did you wear pants only in the cartoon, 'Tick Tock Tuckered'?" Porky: W-well, me and D-Daffy were going to w-w-work, and I f-f-figured that the b-boss wouldn't l-like it if he saw me g-g-g-goin' around, not wearing any p-pants. Daffy: Then how come you don't wear any pants at your new job? Porky: The b-boss doesn't see me oft-often. And I don't see YOU wearing any pants! At least I wear something! Daffy: I AM wearing something. It's called "feathers". Question #7 Bugs: Colonel Brony asked: "Granny, at the age of 95, is June Foray older or younger than you?" Granny: Why, we're exactly the same age! Daffy: Boy, you're OLD! Granny: (scoffs) You should see my parents. They're 130 and still alive! Daffy: (faints) Question #8 Bugs: Josh asked: "Wile E. Coyote, why is it you use your money to by Acme props instead of buying cooked Road Runner at a butcher shop?" 'Wile E. Coyote 'up sign: "Dude, I've been buying Acme stuff for decades, I'm not going to switch to butcher shops in two seconds. Besides, I want to eat 'em fresh." Question #9 'Daffy: '"Thith question was athked by Rarityfan: 'Hubie and Bertie, how come you haven't appeared in a single cartoon since the 1950's?'" 'Hubie: '"Eh, some coyote-and-roadrunner duo came along and took the spotlight from us. Ain't that right, Boit?" 'Bertie: '"Yeah, yeah, sure, sure." 'Bugs: '"Funny you should say that; Daffy feels the very same way about me! ''Giggle" '''Daffy: '"Thath it; where's the director? I want a different thcreen partner." 'Crusher: '"You could be with me. menacingly" 'Daffy: '"fearfully I change my mind." Question #10 'Bugs: '"This question was asked by MrJoshbumstead: 'Bugs, are you and Daffy scared of Slender Man?'" 'Daffy: '"Scoff Thlender Man isn't real." Man walks into the room behind Daffy screams and runs 'Slender Man: '"What's his ''problem?" '''Bugs: '"Everything." Question #11 'Daffy: '"Thith question was athked by Doctor Bugs: 'Taz, what is your favorite food?'" 'Taz: '"Taz like rabbits!" 'Bugs: '"No, you don't. Tasmanian devils like ducks, not rabbits." 'Taz: '"Ok!" into tornado; chases Daffy 'Porky: '"Th-th-that's all, folks!" Voice Cast *Teleram as Daffy Duck, Porky Pig, The Crusher *Doctor Bugs as Bugs Bunny, Hubie *MrJoshbumstead as The Road-Runner, Bart Simpson *Rarity4President as Michigan J. Frog, Slender Man *KitKat1894 as Granny *ProfessorDuck as various voices and sound effects *Thomas D. Coyote as Bertie, Homer Simpson Category:Fanon Works Category:Fanon episodes Category:The Looney Tunes Show Fan Mail Episodes Category:Teleram's Pages Category:Comedy Category:Crossovers